After the GOLD Rush

Maintaining the lustre, value and beauty of GOLD is now a priority for those prestigious Universities that have secured GOLD in the recent TEF ratings - and so I am indebted to WIKIHOW for the Do's and Dont's of caring for your GOLD:

1. Do not bathe or go swimming in your GOLD.
   I'd go further and echo Adolf Hitler's advice: “No politician (VC?) should ever let himself be photographed in a bathing suit.”
   So, do not expose your GOLD to moisture, dampness or water (possibly through the cold shower of a poor NSS, PTES, League Table...)
   

   

   PICTURE BY STUART MILES AT FREEDIGITALPHOTOS.NET

   
   
2. Store your GOLD separately.
   ...and securely, as there are folks out there who are jealous of your GOLD and want it for themselves.  Who knows, they might even value it enough to tempt "TEF Tarts" away from GOLD institutions.
3. Clean and Buff your GOLD regularly.
   Environmental damage, exposure to the sun and to everyday life can make GOLD lose its lustre.  In some cases it may be GOLD on the inside but it looks like "unidentified yellow metal" to anyone viewing it.  So, regular care of your GOLD by a crack team of Buffers is essential.
4. Check the value of your GOLD regularly.
   I add this financial measure as ONE reason for holding GOLD must be its ability to grow in value over time.  Whilst GOLD does not pay dividends it can, in the longer term, increase in value, allowing holders of GOLD to become wealthier.  Do not panic, however, when short-term issues reduce the perceived value of GOLD temporarily.

If you keep your GOLD clean, safe and shiny all you have to fear is someone discovering an alternative source of GOLD and flooding the market with it.