Taking horses to water...

In this post I offer a helpful translation guide for those unfamiliar with academics working in Higher Education:

What the University says:	What the academic hears:
Ensure that your marking of exam scripts corresponds to FHEQ Level 6	You’ll know a pass when you see it.
Your teaching input is an important part of the student experience	Don’t teach right up to 5pm as it wastes valuable drinking time.
Embed ethical standards in your teaching	Mention the failures of the banking system once in a while followed by the phrase “tut, tut, tut…”
Consider alternative assessment strategies	Set an exam that your PhD student can mark for you.
Cater for students with different learning preferences	Talk slowly and loudly
Ensure that your ILOs differentiate between FHEQ levels 6 and 7	Blah, blah, blah ACRONYM, ACRONYM…
Be enthusiastic about your subject and your interaction with students	Tell a few jokes.
Contextualise your teaching to reflect real world issues	Mention the failures of the banking system once in a while followed by the phrase “tut, tut, tut…”
Consider podcasting key learning points in your lectures	Do nothing and this type of irritation will go away
Ensure that your students know when you are available for tutoring purposes	Be in the Dog & Duck every Thursday at 7pm.